That being said. After years of practice, I’m finally able to say no to a first date that I just don’t want to go on.
“I’m seeing someone.”
It’s that simple. And it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It isn’t hurtful when you say it, you aren’t uninterested in them, you are already preoccupied with someone else. No harm, no foul.
But what about when you do say yes to the first date and it goes horribly wrong…according to you. He thought it was the best date ever (or at least, good enough) and sends you a text asking for a second date. How do you say no?
I don’t know how to be honest without coming off harsh. How do you reject someone without making them feel…rejected? I want to say “I’d rather take a bullet to the face than go a second date with you” but instead I suddenly become incredibly busy. Drinks on Wednesday? Can’t. Yoga class. Dinner on Friday? I’m babysitting my nephew. Brunch on Sunday? Ummm I suddenly have a horribly contagious cold. The doctor says it might be the black plague and if I leave my house I’ll umm….die.
Don’t do that. Don’t lead him on. Let the guy down easy. I had a great time but…
“I didn’t feel a connection.”
“I don’t see us as more than friends.”
“I didn’t feel like we clicked.”
Simple, to the point, honest…and only moderately painful. Sure, it may sting for about thirty seconds, but it was just one date. Before you even have a chance to feel bad about it, he’ll be on another date with someone who WILL want to go on a second date with him. And third. And fourth.
- Suzie Robb